Competing, Weight Gain, and Thoughts on Feeling Thin

On and off over the past ten years or so, I've had the desire to gain some weight. Growing up I was pretty thin and had what I'd call a fast metabolism. I played outside, played high school sports and ate whatever my mom prepared for meals. I do remember my basketball coach telling me the Summer before my freshman year that I had better hit 100 pounds before the season started. He was half-joking I think. I was definitely on the lighter side. 

Somewhere between high school and college I put on some weight and landed at a number I would pretty much stick with the past ten years. The only times my weight has really fluctuated have been during my pregnancies. I've never been at what I would say is an unhealthy weight or body mass because I continued to eat basically however I wanted and I had the energy to exercise and just do life in general. Any health struggles I faced were related to fertility and the MTHFR diagnoses I was given after our second loss.

But it has never been about a number for me. The scale doesn't tell the whole story, nor should it and to base your worth on a number is silly. Yet we often do.

Somewhere during college or soon after I subscribed to Oxygen Magazine. {And actually, I just did a quick search. They still have a site and it looks worth digging around!} I flipped through the pages of those magazines and saw women who were muscular! But still feminine. Some of them competed in body-building or figure type competitions and they ate and trained to be able to do that and I loved it! I thought it was pretty much amazing and a dream started to grow in my heart to do the same. 

Since then I got married, had two babies and 4 miscarriages and spent eight years sitting behind a desk. I obviously continued to work out and delve into a newfound passion for nutrition and life went on. Before I got pregnant with Krosby and while going through ups and downs between all the baby loss, I decided I would compete. I bought a suit, heels, started lifting heavier and with a plan, and even went to one posing class. Thattt was interesting. Talk about newbie. But reality set in and I realized I was NOT ready to be up on stage and I wasn't going to be ready in 16 weeks either.

Fast forward to one miracle pregnancy and my sweet little rainbow babe quickly approaching her first birthday. And it's on my mind again. When we went to Summit this past Summer in Nashville, I learned that Beachbody has their own competition each year called The Classic. Ah! That's perfect, I thought! Fellow coaches told me it was nothing like the real ones and no one would be there to watch, I thought. It would be a great entry into things and I could just see how it goes. 

Last week I met a girl who has done a couple of competitions now and it was so fun talking to her and her husband about it. It got me all jazzed again. My height puts me into the tallest class to compete, class C. And I know that to even have a chance of doing well or just looking like I do, I would have to put on muscle and weight. Which brings me back to my opening line.

It's not that I've thought my weight is unhealthy or that it has been in the past. Like I said, it's pretty much stayed constant for the past ten years and if you know me, you know I like to eat and I like food! So I have dialed in very well the amount I need to eat each day to maintain my weight, and I've done that intuitively. I don't count calories, I don't weigh or measure and I don't obsess over what passes my lips. I have to and choose to eat gluten-free and I do that 100% now due to the MTHFR genetic mutation that affects my health in several different ways. After cutting out gluten, I saw so many amazing improvements (one of those being the ability to keep a pregnancy) that I have never looked back for one moment.

But. It is something I have struggled with - as far as wanting to look different. I feel skinny sometimes and like I wish there was more of me. I have an ectomorph body type, which is small bones, narrow shoulders, and a fast metabolism for starters. I see women who are curvier and I wish I had more mass. I see women with muscles and I want that. I am strong, yes. I can do real push-ups. ha. But I still feel narrow. I feel thin. I have long arms and legs and it is hard for me to put on weight. And there is nothing wrong with that; I've been this way my whole life. It is not something that I need to change or should feel pressure to. I have tried to do it on my own before. And what that comes down to is this:

Conscientiously eating more. Past the point of fullness. Past the point of comfortable. Past where I would normally eat. It means lifting weights and doing resistance training regularly so that my appetite goes up. It means not eating "clean" all the time, something I don't currently do anyways, (or necessarily even believe in), so that I get extra calories in. It means tracking and weighing to make sure I am eating MORE. It means being in a caloric surplus and then structuring my workout progression so the weight(s) go up. I know that in my head - I just haven't done it in the past with any consistency. I've tried; I just haven't stuck with it. #becauselife 

This is getting long and I have a lot more to say. But - it's a start. If you follow me on Instagram {katiiveyfit} you'll start to see more food, more calories, more GAINS hopefully, in the hopes of competing next year. If nothing else, I am aiming for the Classic next July in New Orleans. I'd also love to do a competition locally as well. And I just love something new. A new challenge, something new to take on. And I love transformation. I love that through resistance + food, you can physically change your body. And I want to see if I can do it. I want to SEE growth and heck, I just want bigger shoulders. :-)

I'll be posting more about the methods I'm using and how it's all going on social media - especially Instagram - both my page and story, so if you're there, feel free to follow along. I'll be writing more as well on ectomorph thoughts, hard-gainers, and tips and tricks for adding mass. Especially for females because there's not a lot out there. And what is, is geared towards guys! But don't worry - if you're looking to go the opposite direction, I'll have plenty for you too. I'm excited to start writing more here on something I've become passionate about - FOOD.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, struggles, ability to relate or not, or anything else you have to say - below!